I am a Digidestined, Thus I am who I am
by Celestra
Summary: ((Old work)) A short-ish piece in which each Digidestined loses the sense of who they are, but regain it while observing who the others are. The POV shifts from character to character, but there is no OOCness. Very good for establishing each DD's role.


I am a Digidestined thus I am who I am

By Celestra (AKA Les)

Lets get down to business. This is a fanfic about the Digidestined. You might think it's dumb. But we are all entitled to our opinion. Well, except Les, because her opinion, along with her warped sense of humor, could destroy the world. ***Snaps up*** Yes. The business. This captures whom the real kids behind the heroism of the Digidestined are, and the point I'm trying to make! (Yokata, you're not helping!) In any case, it's what the 01 Digidestined think of each other. No, not romance, in general. I wrote this after reading Kyra's 'I am Matt'. I think it is kind of depressing, with wallowing in emotions, trying to find themselves throughout the physical and emotional place the Digiworld can be . . .Yet there are quite a few funny comments they make for being so depressed. (Les walks in) Pay no attention to Celestra. She had too much sugar this morning. And there is no Kari or Elanna.

(Tai's POV (point-of-view)

I slid down into a sitting position, my back against a tree. I was tired. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be the leader with never-ending energy, but I am human. Or so I thought. Maybe I wasn't because no normal human could grow hair like mine. 

I glanced around and saw TK. Matt was so protective over him. I don't know why. Well, I do. They're brothers. And TK was special; I had to admit. And no one (even me) could let him get hurt. Maybe because of his youthful innocence. Wish I had some youthful innocence. Or maybe not, because I'm not like TK.

I saw Sora, with a faraway look in her eyes. Miss Protector. I won't admit it, but I have a lot of respect for someone as loving but not loving in her way, which is better. Seems to me like she's everyone's big sister. Not that I mind. Much. Sometimes she annoys me, telling me to stop being reckless. Sometimes I even listen. I really surprise myself. I'm not like her at all. That's not who I am. And she is there to stop me fighting with Matt.

Matt. He's one dude who can't seem to stop fighting. But really, I know he's sensitive. We've been friends for a long time, though we don't show it. We learn things about each other. He knows I'm not a complete jerk. Most times, anyways. Personally, I think he's cool. But as I continue to say, he is very protective. And that harmonica! It bugs me! And what bugs me even more is that he's playing it right now. Aw, good. He's stopped. But anyway, that's his way of letting out steam. His other way is taking it out on me. But he's a good friend. But he's not who I am. I should find myself before I lose myself. Or my way.

**Author's Note: Not true! His harmonica is kewl!**

Then, there's Joe. Now Joe, he's a different case. A basket case, more likely. But he's not a loser. He's not a winner from what I can see, but he's not a loser. What he is is reliable. And cautious. And klutzy, to mention it, but he's a good friend. Sorry to say, he doesn't always act his age. Not that I'm complaining. He is. But he can be courageous, if needed. Needless to say, that's still not me.

And there was Mimi, talking with Palmon, trying to teach her how to bargain, no doubt. But before, when we came here, whenever she spoke, she was complaining. Needless to say, she has changed. She is definitely more sincere. I suppose she's learned that whining won't get her out of messes. She seems to have adapted. Though sometimes, not too well. I am not like her, and in any case, I'm glad. I'm not going into any details; I might barf in my brain. I don't think that's possible. I'll have to ask Izzy.

**Author's Note: I don't hate Mimi!**

Izzy. Now he's a different story altogether. In any case, you might I resent him just a little. He's a really nice kid and all that, not a bad soccer player for a kid that is always on a computer, but he and his grades are a little too smart. I think he's an alien gathering all the knowledge, and is just waiting till I'm in the middle of an exciting soccer game and he'll start reporting school facts. Nooooooo! That could kill me. But Izzy isn't like that. But, I feel bad about his parents' thing. Yet, I still can't find me.

I've seemed to lose myself. I don't know who I am. I mean, I know who the others are, but I don't know who I am. Either that or I've forgotten. Yet, now I can remember something about me a little more clearly . . . Never mind. I know who I am.

I am a Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am Tai. 

(Joe's POV)

I was tired. Must be hangover from the last fight. I never thought I'd get hangovers from anything except complaining or allergies. Mind you, that's not really me. Most of the time, it is. But that's not the true me. Yet I've lost myself and don't know whom the real me am. Maybe the others can help me without knowing it. I seem to need a lot of help.

I glanced at Tai, who was leaning against a tree, with a faraway look in his eyes as he gazed at each and every one of us. Maybe he was also trying to find himself. Ha! I know who he is. Tai. I just don't know who I am. Tai, the impetuous leader, and the one I'll probably never be like. But inside, if know he's a good guy. But sometimes he makes me feel like such a coward; probably because he has the Crest of Courage. I know for sure I'm not like him.

I saw Mimi ask Izzy something. Mimi was, well, ditzy. Not to be rude because I like her, because she seems to be like me. But she used to complain more then me. But that was before. Now she's so sincere, maybe because of her crest. But she seems to have realized that no amount of complaining will save the world. Maybe I should learn from her and only complain once in awhile. And I know I won't find myself with her.

And she was talking with Izzy. Izzy. Izzy was a genius, and that's putting it mildly. He has the super-brain of the century. No, the millennium! But seriously, I don't think anybody could be as smart as him. Well, maybe that Ken guy. **(^_^)** Interesting. He _always_ carries that laptop with him. But I shouldn't talk; I carry around a medicine bag. In any case, I won't find myself through Izzy. Though he might find me with that laptop of his.

A little ways off, TK was talking endlessly with Patamon, maybe explaining what exactly was so important about the . . . from Patamon's expression, the survival of the snack-machine race. TK was a cute kid with a lively imagination, I could give him that. One thing is that TK seems to respect me. Or maybe he just respected all the kids, even me. Or maybe he thought I had an imaginary kid-blasting weapon in my bag. I noticed that as soon as Matt sat down, TK jumped into his lap. I don't jump, and I'm sure TK's personality is not close to mine.

Matt. The cool one. I know for sure I'm not like him; he's cool; I'm not; he's smooth; I'm clumsy; he's got girls all over him; I don't. He's like ice; hard and smooth to the touch. I know about his parents' separation; he's built a sort of wall around himself and became icy. It must hurt a lot; he can hardly be with his brother.

I turned my gaze to Sora; the protector, the one who supposedly loves us all; who will protect us (lovingly) all. Even me. Not that I'm ungrateful, the complete opposite. It feels nice; looking out for the group but with someone helping. And she respects the fact that I'm 'cautious'. Hysterical would be more likely. Not me. Being like Sora, I mean.

I can't find myself. I probably left me back in the real world. I feel so helpless, lonely and empty without myself, despite my friends' presence. I looked down to my crest suddenly, and I felt a sort of private burst of understanding light within myself, because I finally remembered, realized, I am a Digidestined, I am who I am, and I am Joe.

(Mimi's POV)

I am so confused. I am confused about this 'Digidestined' thing, about saving both worlds, about digimon, and how to take care of Palmon. If I were brainy like Izzy, I would maybe be able to handle it. But the fact, the real deal, is that I've seemed to lose myself.

Izzy, the brainiac, the super-brain, the computer genius. No doubt, he could probably find who I forgot I am on his computer, but this is something _I_ have to do. I have to find myself. Izzy is perfect. He has perfect grades, he's sort of popular, and his family is perfect. Almost. Not me. I'm not a brainiac.

I took a glance at TK, running amok and playing under his brother's watchful eye, after getting out of his brother's lap. TK was cute and everything, but I know I won't find myself using him. I mean, come on! I can't be that carefree; I've got my hair and nails and clothes and popularity to worry about! And I can't wear the color green, even if it does hue my crest. But he seems to have a sort of youthful innocence that makes you forget about worrying about anything. And he's hopeful; reflecting on his crest without knowing it.

Under his brother's watchful eye. That meant Matt. Matt, the 'cool one'. Matt's more then what meets the eye, I've learnt. He and TK were separated when he was young, and that seems to have affected him deeply. He is very sensitive, though. Saying Matt is 'sensitive' is like saying chili sauce is 'warm'. But he still is a really good friend. He just doesn't like to show it. I don't think I'm like him.

I gazed at Sora, someone I really got along with. My protector, it seems, everyone's protector. I mean, she's like a motherly friend. Sora is easy to talk with, even though at times, she is a tomboy. At least I can talk to a girl. As for my confused mind, I'm not like or anything at _all_ like Sora. But if I csn't find myself, maybe I can be her.

Joe was near Sora, looking sicker then usual. Now Joe is a different case. A bad case of the flu, seeing how sick and green he is at the moment. Now I'm not running around saying that he's gonna faint or anything, I don't run, I walk, and people can see for themselves. Joe, actually, is pretty nice. Very reliable, but over-cautious. And klutzy, too. I'm not trying to add insult to injury, but I can't help it. It's in my personality. Or is it? I don't know. Yet.

Sitting with his back against a tree, I saw Tai, who appeared to be deep in thought. That's a first. Tai is more of aget-up-and-go-andget-his-butt-kicked-without-giving-a-first-or-second-thought guy then a –lets-think-this-through-first-before-we-all-get-our-butts-whooped guy. It strikes me odd that he is the leader, except that the fact remains that leaders are always courageous and impetuous. Not to mention dependable and hard-headed. More like hard-haired.

And me? As my continually confused mind wanders over this puzzling idea, I suddenly realize who I really and truly am. 

I am a Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am Mimi.

(Izzy's POV)

I am _not_ enjoying myself as much as usual. Then reason for that is my laptop isn't working anymore; not for the last few minutes, anyway. And Tentomon, the only one who really understands me, is the one off getting food. Also, there is something bothering me. I don't remember who I am. All I remember is who the others are, and how to work my laptop.

I saw TK out of the corner of my eye, seeming less carefree then usual. He seemed to be in thought, even as he played. He seemed so serious for a boy so young. I don't think I am like TK . . . Who could be so carefree; not even worrying about computers? With TK at his present age and being so innocent and carefree, it reminds me when I was like that, but I learned about my parents...

I snuck a look at Matt, who was watching TK in a depressed way. He looked like he was also in deep thought. Seems to me that I'm seeing everybody in deep thought. For Matt, deep thought was more natural; he thinks a lot, but when he talks, he seems to either joke or fight. Matt was, no doubt about it, cool. At least, I think so, the way he dresses and acts. I'm not like him. I couldn't be. I never will be and never have, in my opinion. Maybe someone else thinks I'm like him, but that's their lunacy, not mine.

I then gazed at Sora, our big sister and protector. Sora is really the only one I've told about my parents, but they heard any ways. **(No romance there. Sora gets Tai.)** I don't mind, they won't tease me. Sora is a loving motherly figure, and as I said, like a big sister looking out for her siblings. Except we're not her siblings; we're her friends. Needless to say, I'm not very good with people, so that crosses out if I am like Sora.

I turned my gaze to Joe. Joe is different compared to Sora, well, maybe some idiot might think they're twins or something, but that is idiocy. Joe is, well, I hate to say this about such a good friend, but Joe is a hyperventilater, not to mention clumsy. But really, he is a great friend. Who is reliable and we are all able to confide our trust in him. Needless to say, I'm not like him, and not nearly as clumsy as him, not to add any insult.

Then there was Tai, looking tired as he leaned against a tree. Brave and courageous, and almost fearless leader. The only things he is afraid of are homework, teachers, girls (of mushy type), and makeup. I sort of look up to him, we all do, even Matt, but sometimes we don't show it as much as we should. His courage has strengthened us all in many ways. Not in knowledge, though. Sometimes he has led me to believe that a hamster possesses more knowledge then him. No insult to him, as he's one of my best friends. But I am not like him. Not with his knowledge, anyway.

My gaze wandered over to Mimi, who was laughing, but looking serious all the same. Mimi used to complain A LOT, but she has changed. Now, she is very sincere, and when I go on my computer, she doesn't mind as much, at least she doesn't *seem* to mind as much; she doesn't show it. She doesn't whine anymore, she must've learned that no amount of whining will save the worlds for her. And I definitely am not like her.

And yet, I still have no clue who I am. I know who the others are, but I am a mystery to myself. But that night, I found out about my parents. My present parents called me 'Izzy', and 'Koushiro'. And now, I finally remember who I am. I am a Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am Izzy.

(Matt's POV)

**Author's Note: The plot of Matt's point-of-view was _mostly_ written by Kyra. The plot of it, but some of the other stuff was written strictly by me.**

** **

I down against a tree, watching TK, yet seeming to enjoy myself. Or it seemed like that if someone saw me. I can sort of put a mask over my face, hiding my true feelings. Nobody could know how I felt, unless they experienced why do right now. I lost myself. I doubt that happened to the others, but as I gaze at them, they seem deep in thought, as if also trying to find themselves. Odd.

As I watched TK, I thought some more. I was depressed for many reasons, losing myself and TK being the chief reasons. I was scared for him. What if he got hurt? If he did, mom would kill me, yet I know in my heart that I will protect him in order so that horrible event won't come to pass. But seriously, I really _am_ scared for him. If TK was to get hurt, in my opinion, that would be worse if I got hurt. At least, if I knew not one single thing wouldn't happen to him, I could worry about myself, and concentrate on keeping me alive and well.

I then gazed at Sora. Miss Mother. Miss Protector. I don't show it, but I _do_ respect her. I know that there is someone who would look out for _me_, even though she is still looking out for the rest of the group. I feel somehow a little better. She takes care of everyone, but I won't let her take care of TK if I am away. I won't be away for him. Never. I still do trust her with my life, just not TK's. I'm worrying too much, at the moment.

I saw Joe. Joe is a different case. Diarrhea, I'd say at the moment; he looks like he'll puke. But what I mean is, he looks out for the group like Sora, but differently. Way differently. But he isn't a complete loser, just cause he carries a medic bag around and looks like one. But when we first got here, all he was concerned about was going home. Now he seems to have adjusted. With the groups' help, of course. 

There was Tai, leaning against a tree, like me, looking serious as he pondered, maybe about losing himself throughout the Digiworld, also. It seems he came up with a solution, because his face is all bright, and now he is talking endlessly with Agumon. Tai _is_ a proven leader, though I don't show it. He is strong and dependable, that's good. I'm too wrapped up with thinking and playing the harmonica and TK to be a leader. Tai calls me the 'cool one'. Interesting.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mimi, laughing, as Izzy gazed at her, too. He looked away suddenly. Mimi seems to have grown used to the Digiworld, like Joe. Before, and sometimes now, she was complaining. As in every second. Now, it's more like at least twice every day. Of course, for her to realize not to complain every second, she must've learnt that she won't save the worlds by complaining about it.

A little off from the group, Izzy typed feverishly at his computer. Only a minute before, though, his eyes had been dull. He seems to have solved his problem, whatever it was. I sort of resent Izzy. Nothing personal, but man! He's got the best grades in school! And I'm still _struggling_ through my _best_ subject! And his parents are pretty nice. Izzy is nice, but sort of in a distant way. 

And me? I'm trying to explore myself to see who I am. Who I could be, by looking at the others. Either I don't know anymore, I never did and pretended, or it's lost. But it _can't_ be lost. It's me. Me. That helps. I know. I am a Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am Matt.

( Sora's POV)

Hm. I feel lost and empty. I feel alone, despite the fact I'm surrounded by my friends. I was depressed. Maybe because my friends were looking depressed, or maybe because of my new, empty feeling. The thing is, I am lost. I've lost myself, my identity, who I really am. I am empty, because I miss the feeling of knowing who I am. 

I sighed and gazed at Joe, wandering who I am and if I couldn't recognize myself, would I at least recognize the others? But I recognized Joe. The one who seemed to help me watch over the others. Though he seems dorky, he's a reliable friend, and helps me with my sort of role of being a sort of big sister or mother to the group. Joe helps. Or maybe it's the other way around, and _I_ help _him_.

Tai looked exhausted. Sometimes I think that the group expects too much of him, and without knowing it, they add more to his work and without knowing it, he does it. They work him too hard, poor guy. He was talking with Agumon. He seems to have his strength back as the determined, dependable and strong leader he always was.

And Mimi. Mimi seems to need me, to talk to, about stuff that bothers her and being surrounded by boys and digimon. I can feel her pain, as she doesn't want to fight and she has had digi-friends who have been deleted. However, she used to complain and cry. She's adjusted. Good for her! I'm very happy for her! But still, why can't I be happy, even if I am trying to remember who I am?

A little off, I saw Izzy. Even if he is really smart, it's terrible about his parents. If he gets teased, I feel terrible, because they don't know the ordeal he's been through. Poor guy. And it happened to such a nice kid. He's nice, but sort of distantly. I don't know much about him, though. Everybody says I know the most about him. And I still feel bad about it.

I saw TK out of the corner of my eye. I gazed at him, taking in every inch of him. I love that little boy. Matt loves him like a brother, but I love as only a friend could. He once told me that when he was around me or vice versa, he didn't miss his mom as much. Also, he told me when I sing, it reminds him of when his mom sung lullabies to him, and that when I smile, it yet again reminds him of his mom. It seems I'm almost like a replacement for her.

And Matt, his brother, who would protect TK with his life. Matt is like ice, I think. Inside, like an iceberg, there is beauty, but in his case, it's feelings. He has feelings, and he's very sensitive. Sometimes too sensitive, and in this case, he punches Tai's face in. An iceberg's glacial beauty, if it would show in Matt, would be in his eyes, that seemed so cold. But still, he's a good friend, despite any coldness of his.

There. I went over each Digidestined, but I can't find myself in any of them. I feel as if I don't belong. But I do. Or else I wouldn't be a Digidestined. That's it! I know. It's been hidden in names, in me. I am a Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am Sora.

( TK's POV)

I felt different. Not a sort of giddy different, a difference in myself. But, that's part of the problem. I can't find myself, and I'm not even nine! A lot of big people stuff is happening to me. Like coming to a new world and meeting Patamon. But that took place so long ago. But this a new feeling. The feeling of the loss of the presence of myself. Maybe Matt can help. Maybe they all can. 

So I looked over at Matt. My brother. He's always there for me, always there to take my hand if I'm scared or go in front of me to protect me, like he so often does. Sometimes I get mad at him for making me feel like a baby, but I know he doesn't mean to. He's the best big brother in the world! Except when he got mad at Tai. I don't like it when he fights with him.

I looked at Sora. Sora is like my mom, or at least my big sister. When my mom is gone but I'm with Sora, I don't miss her as much. My mom, I mean. Sora is really nice, and whenever Matt and Tai are fighting, Sora steps in and makes them stop. At least, she tries to make them stop. It doesn't always work.

I looked at Joe. Joe is nice, but he worries too much. But he helps and is kinda like Sora. Sometimes I wonder what's in his bag though . . . Once I thought it was a kid-blasting gun, but Joe isn't like that. He even saved me when Matt couldn't. Joe also trie to stop Matt and Tai from fighting. Once, he even got involved, and decided to climb a mountain. People say that he is a coward, but he really _is_ brave. Most times, anyway.

And there was Tai, sometimes my brother Matt's enemy, but not really. But I really, really hate it when they fight. They yell so loud. He's nice too, and kind of like a replacement for when Matt is gone. But no one can replace Matt as my brother. Tai is dependable, and he saved me from Demidevimon, that bowling ball with wings who worked for Myotismon.

I saw Mimi, too.She's really sweet. But she was a little greedy when we first got here about the food, but I realize now that she was just hungry, like the rest of us. She's really sincere. I knew she wouldn't throw Tai and Joe in jail with those Gekomon and Otamamon. They told me about it. Mimi also kind of reminds me of mom. I like her singing, but not the singing that she sang in the sewers.

A little ways off, was Izzy. Izzy is a hard worker. He's short, like me, so when we walk a lot or something and I see him panting or something, I know how he feels. And when he sees me tired or something like that, he knows how I feel. Izzy is super-smart. Maybe he can be a super-hero or something like that and shoot out knowledge at enemy digimon? That would be so cool!

I can't find myself. I've lost myself. I lose a lot of things because I'm small. It's a lot of work being a Digidestined and saving the world and all that, but surely they don't think I can do anything? But I think I know. I know who I'm not, but . . . Yes! I've figured out! I am a Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am TK


End file.
